Smartbirth.net

I bought the book, “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach years ago and never finished it completely.  But this year on January 1, 2010, I started to read it and thought, what if I put the word “pregnancy” in the middle?  It is a book of reflection. Every month has it’s message. And for a woman who is also pregnant, these are words to be inspired by. Having a baby makes one ponder many things- being a parent, thoughts about the future, what their child will be like, changes in marriage, and so much more.

So I begin in January, a time for newness and reflection on the old. Follow the post on January.

Lesly

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Recently, I was approached by a publishing company that prints a very popular book on pregnancy. They wanted to “work” with me, put a link/widget  on my website, and perhaps become a blogger for them.

Naturally I was excited! Finally I thought my work promoting healthy and positive mindsets for expectant moms was starting to go somewhere – expand. So I put the link on my site and when I went to look at it … KA-POW! There was a flash ad for Clorox products, first and then you saw the widget.

Well. It turned me off and because of the “green” side of me, I could not have that ad displayed on myweb site! It just went against what I believe in – and Clorox products are far from green at the moment.

So, I emailed my contact and said, sorry, I can’t put this widget on my site.

Most likely the blogging  opportunity went out the window too. But you know what? I stayed true to my values and convictions and that’s worth it. It feels good to stand up for what you believe in.

So, yep. I really did.

What do you think?

Lesly

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Just like any other major life event, your wedding, buying a home, or having a baby, planning is always part of it.  Leaving things to the last minute is never a good idea because you can miss important information, or hear yourself saying “I wish I had known this before …”

 Here are three mistakes expectant women make when it comes to having a baby. Don’t be one of them:

 1. Lack of planning. The last month of pregnancy is not the time to take a childbirth class. Especially if you’re due in three weeks!  Sometimes classes held in hospitals fill up quickly and you can’t enroll. So where do you go? You just may miss taking any class because time is running out. A childbirth class can be four to twelve weeks long depending on the program.

2.  Taking a one day “crash course” childbirth class. Even though it’s popular to do, you’re cheating yourself by not allowing the time needed to prepare for labor and birth and have the time to practice the skills you learn to manage labor. You do have lots of time to forget everything you learn though!

3.  Not researching options early in pregnancy. Many women think that a hospital birth is their only option. Not true. Some women dislike their doctor for whatever reason and think they can’t switch to another physician or midwife.  They can. If done early in the pregnancy. If you don’t research your options and what’s available to you at your birthing facility, what your insurance covers, Doula programs, etc., you may miss out on important information you can use.

 Avoid these common mistakes during your pregnancy. You’ll feel more confident going into the birthing and parenting experience because you educated yourself well and planned ahead to be ready for the big day!

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September 21, 2009

Even though what I am about to write about is directed towards the expectations of pregnancy and childbirth, the thought behind it can be applied to any life event or situation. So for example …

I recently had a couple come to me for childbirth education. I showed them the movies, talked about labor, ways to manage it, etc. And at the last class I should have said something like this - a disclaimer: Warning: What you learn will not be the reality you experience.

When this expectant mother went into labor, she wasn’t overly concerned, because she kept expecting something else to happen. She had some mild cramping and drove to work. Worked for a while. Decided to go home. Called the doctor. Drove to the doctor’s office. Always feeling fine with some mild managable cramping. This took most of the day – her driving herself around in her car. Her cervix had dialated to 5 cms (active labor) and she was told to go to the hospital. By the time she got there she had dialted more and 2 hours later delivered a healthy baby boy.  Her labor was done mostly driving around  wondering if she was indeed in labor or not. No epidural.

What gets me though is her comment to me when she was telling me her story, “I guess your class helped me .. the breathing helped, but it wasn’t like you told me it would be.”

Of course not!  Usually what you think and what happens are almost always two different experiences. Learning in general is a process, a digested amount of brain information that is twisted, reorganized to suit the learners level of understanding and the ability to apply concepts to an actual situation.

Like any life event – a marriage, a divorce, a funeral, anything that is planned and anticipated- the outcome is never a mirror experience of the idea.  Simply because reality is what it is and can never be guessed.

The very best I can do is wake in the morning and believe I am going to have a great day. My attitude has everything to do with it. But, do I know my dog will get loose and run the neighborhood? No. Will I know my dentist appointment will be longer than I thought? No. Will I know how I will react to an experience, a physical sensation before it happens – even when I think I know? No.

What we think  will happen is an illusion.

So when my client, possiblyimagined in her mind that her labor would be worse than it was in reality, she was surprised. 

Lesly

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How do you start to go green?  First you have to be willing to make changes in your life! You have o let go of the bells and whistle” cleaners that make tigs shine, smel like “fresh” air, work fast, and so on.  If your products do that then you are buying the chemicals that do all those things.  Your home is not getting cleaner. Yur home is getting an overdose  of chemicals that could very well be a current or future catalyst for illness.

NOT IN MY HOUSE!! LOL!

So, to change things in my home, I had to start with me. Hre’s what I’m doing:

• stopped wearing perfume. I dab a little essential rose oil on my wrists and behind my ears.. hmmm.. nice …
• stopped using toothpaste – Colgate with the pretty blue stripes in it. Toothpaste contains Triclosan which is not a healthy chemical. It’s a known hormonal disruptor, especially with Thyroid hormones. It also when mixed with chlorine in tap water creates a new chemical compound called chloroform, and chlorine gas. Both are known carcinogens.  Now I use a mixture of baking soda, hydrogen peroxide and a dash of salt. It’s not bad and there is no aftertaste.
• I no longer purchase deodorant which contains butane! Why would I want to set my arm pits on fire! Yikes! I now use an equal mixture of baking soda (natural deodorizer) and corn statch (absorbs moisture naturally). I pat under my arms with a cotton make-up pad. It works great, absorbs and no power stains on my clothes.

To go green, you have to start with yourself. This develops a new attitude and understanding because the more you learn about the products you’re using, the more you’ll want to change whatyou’re using! They can be very toxic and make you sick.

That’s it for now. Don’t fear what you don’t know. Learn about it and start creating a healthier life for yourself.

Lesly

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August 13, 2009

y homelife is like a mini lab for how life happens once I  walk out my front door to greet the world, especially in building relationships with others.

Just yesterday my 13-year-old son brought home an abandoned kitty. Must be about 4 weeks old.  Now my son has wated a kitten for a long time. But I always told him “not until you are willing to take of it”. 

About 5 years ago. I ordered a puppy online and it came from Arkansaw. The plane ride for this little puppy (a Boston Terrier – the BEST dog I have EVER) had) took a horrific long time to reach New Jersey - about 20 hours! Once I got him he weighed 1 lb, and was so scared. Took him to the vet and turns out he was quite ill. Severely dehydrated, infections, worms, you name it. The vet gave him a 50/50 survival rate.

So, for the next week I cared for this puppy like I cared for my son whem he was a newborn. Lot’s of sleepless nights. Lots of TLC (tender loving care) . After one week you could see how much better he was between the TLC, the medications and to this day I have such a loyal dog. He protects me, sleeps at the bottom of my bed, lets me carry him on my should (he’s small). And my son will say “he’s YOUR dog”. My son treats him badly, plays hard with him and he wonders why my dog “nips” and growls at him.

My son has made this comment to me several times and his desire to have his own loyal pet.  But as I explained to him, that loyalty came from the gentle care I gave my puppy. I had respect for him as a living creature that needs love, care, and tending to,  just like humans do.

He’s learning. He’s been feeding kitty, or “Hopi”, snuggleing, and being gentle with his touch.

Relationships with people are pretty much the same. If you treat a person with respect and care, they will respond to you. If you are crude, rude, and don’t care, show no interest in a person, well – you’ll get the same in return.

This is a great learning lesson for my son and a very reflective one for myself.

Lesly  :-)

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It is well known now that there is without a scientific doubt a connection between your thoughts, feelings and how your body responds to them physiologically. Your body is actually a “mirror” of how you feel at any given moment f the day.

 For example, Body Language is a tool many use to decipher the mood of another person; crossed arms may signal being defensive. Whereas open, relaxed arms may mean a person is “open” to conversation.

 The verbal expression of sensing someone’s “vibes” as either – good or bad is indeed a subtle sensing of another’s energy a “reflection” of their personality.

 Neuro Lingusitic Programming (NLP) teaches how to change an emotional state from angry to happy while changing the physiological state at the same time (lowered blood pressure, less tension etc.) just by listening to some upbeat music!

 So how can this information be useful to a woman anticipating birth? The following shows you how and may provide insights in how you can control your own thoughts about giving birth, or help someone else.

 1.Thoughts can not hurt you physically.  They can exacerbate what you think you are physically experiencing.  When you experience any physical pain you pay attention to it more.  The more you focus your thinking on it, “oh, this hurts …” etc., it will hurt more! The amount of thoughtful attention on pain, the more  “painful” it is. What to do? Once you go into labor focus on something else: Touch massage, music, hypnosis, etc. You will immediately experience a shift in perception of pain.

 2.Are you experiencing “implanted fear” about birth? This is when you fear birth because other women told you how “painful” it is. Or you watched a horrific birth story on TV, or read a book that scared you about it. Ask yourself: Am I fearful of my birth experience based on someone else’s story? Or, I can trust my own reactions and decisions. In other words, labor does not have to be the “drama” played out on TV, in movies, and in some books. Sensationalism sells. So, please don’t believe everything you see or hear. What to do? STOP watching, reading, and listening to other people’s opinions about birth. Instead – pay attention to yourself your partner, and enjoy your pregnancy.

 3.One single negative, anxious, or fearful thought will initiate the stress   response in your body. Your body doesn’t care what’s causing your stress. It only knows it must respond physically to keep you from harm or provide the energy you need to protect yourself. For a woman in labor, this is not a good state to be in. What to do? Learn relaxation methods, not for one or two weeks before your due date. But, from day one when you found out you were pregnant!. Why? So you can “train” your body AND mind to relax when you instruct it too.  Relaxation is a skill to learn, takes time to perfect, and one that is beneficial to your health for life.

 Lesly :-)

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October 10, 2009

Last night we took our son out to one of his favorites restaurants for dinner to celebrate his amazing progress in just one month of homeschooling! I made him a certificate of excellent achievement that had a big fat star on it – he deserved it!

Our school hours go from 8:00 AM to about 2:00 PM. I stress not to pay attention to grades but to understanding the material first because the grades will come as a result.

I am amazed because I haven’t had to many challenges with him as far as doing the work. He does the work and we have discussions about what he learned. Right now we are working on “expanding” his thoughts. Getting him to write more than one sentence about a topic and his ideas and opinions. I am “prepping” him for his first book report.

His reading has improved, his grammar, writing, math skills, everything. What’s making the difference? NO distractions, one on one, compassion, interest, and fun. One day we chased each other around the dinning room table. Boy did we laugh!

So, progress is happening!

To be continued…

L

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September 17, 2009

Okay, the first few days went great. I felt on top- of- the world – I knew what I was doing. Today is a different story.

Yep. I had my fair share of pissy fits “I don’t want to do that”, type of stuff. Oh and the stalling … “I have to go to the bathroom” business… about a 100 times. I got through it. Yet today I was a total flop.

It was music and art day in the afternoon. The morning was more language arts and spelling – then Mr. Computer stared acting up and my kid went flying into the other room to play with the new kitty while I fixed things to continue our lessons. By the time everything was good it was lunch time. Geez, trying to get him to do anything now would cause a MAJOR pissy fit and he’d probably call the child advocacy organization to complain.

So, I waited and planned my music lesson, guitar lessons and drawing. My first mistake was counting on my personal recall in playing the guitar. Oh for pete’s sake, what was I think’en! I haven’t played guitar since I was 20-years-old (good’ole Pete Seeger songs too). So there I was with my long finger nails trying to teach my boy how to tune his guitar!

Are you crying yet?

I think that lesson lasted 5 minutes when he gave me a blank look. Hm… well on to the next thing.

Art! I would be GREAT at this having painted a few pictures in my time, my dad was an artist, this will be a snap. Wrong. He hated it. He drew a picture of a guy from the Halo # game. I think it took him 2 seconds.

“Is school out now?” he asked. I slowly forced the words from my mouth .. ” y…e…s…”. Poof, he was gone – deep into the abyss to play Halo 3.

Whilst I sat in my dinning room with my head in hands – I thought “this is only week one!”

I realized that I have to plan better. This is turning out to be quite a learning experience for me – forget the kid! Now how many weeks to go?

To be continued…

Lesly
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September 11, 2009

I read many articles about homeschooling to prepare and educate myself. An interesting term I read often about was “decompression”. It means a period of adjustment where the the child that comes from a traditional, public, or other school environment is “un-schooled” and needs time to adapt to the new learning environment. Behaviors may range from sadness to not being motivated, etc.

I did see some of this – not much. I saw it when he took a quiz and got some answers wrong he felt bad about not getting 100%. I told him it’s more important to learn the material not get a good grade on testing. My son told me teachers would call him stupid. Heavens … what kind of education is that? The face is – he learned more with me in two days than he learned in a week of school.

I learned the most though. You can always learn from your children … always.

First, I am not teaching a class! I have one child, so there is plenty of time to expose him to many topics of interest.

Second, take time, don’t rush, give him lots of breaks in be-tween topics. Break things up.

I think my son is seeing in himself how really smart he really is – for the first time. And THAT is something to build on and that homeschooling is giving him ….

L

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September 2, 2009

Here we go! I am going to write about my new experiences as an official Homeschool Mom…

I say official because I sent a certified letter to the school principle saying my son as of September 9, 2009 will be home-schooled. I also cc’d to my lawyers (my monthly membership to lawyer access) to show I have legal backup and support and that I MEAN it. I also included a copy of NJ’s Law and Statue on Homeschooling.

I got the certified return response card today. Yay! It’s official! Now from what I have read, homeschooling can be quite a wonderful experience , start slow and easy, try student-directed interests. I am setting up lesson plans and using Time 4 Learning online home-school program. We’ll follow the school calendar so my child will be off when his friends are..

I am excited! And I’ll be contributing to reducing lunch garbage at school!

The Green RN mom rocks! I crack myself up!

Lesly

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In a recent childbirth class I was discussing “behavior” in the labor room. That I had never seen, in all my years of experience as a labor and delivery nurse and observations, a woman hit her man during labor.  I heard “flowery” verbal expression, but nothing physically abusive.

Many men have this image of having to wear football gear to protect themselves from their laboring partner – anticipating her to be an uncontrollable wildwoman that may harm them in some way. Not true.

A dad then made the following observation in my class.

“So, it’s really not like what you see on TV. Here in this class I have learned you can walk during labor, go rest, it’s not the drama you see played out on TV or in movies …”

For this dad it was an ah-ha moment because it he gained a different perspective of childbirth,  it normalized the birth experience and saw that reality is always different than what’s shown on TV.

TV shows and movies sell drama and that’s what we see. They don’t show the reality of birth .. it actually might be to boring to show - tell the truth.

Lesly

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Where are women headed in the realm of giving birth ….

We are headed for more medical births – not that a “medical” birth (I define this as birthing in a hospital with medical interventions, epidurals, monitoring, etc.) is bad, it has it’s place. But from what I am seeing through the years of teaching childbirth education, medical technology is suppressing a woman’s innate ability to birth simply by imposing medical technology into the birth process automatically, without question, without discussion, without information to choose, without the rights and their innate abilities in mind.

Birthing is a physical and emotional art that can only be mastered by a woman. This art form and a woman’s ability to create and give birth to a new masterpiece is part of a woman’s biology, part of her psychological and chemical make-up. To disrupt this in-bred talent, negate it, ignore it , is an invitation to repressed natural needs and its expression, and suppressed emotional needs and desires – hence post partum depression?

Only since the late 1800′s and early 1900′s has the management of labor and birth become the domain of male OB/GYNs and hospitals. Before then, birth was done at home and called “women’s work”. When a wife went into labor, the husband would gather all the women in the family, even neighbors to assist with the birth. After baby was born, women would stay with the new mother “lying – in” to bond, rest for a time before going back to managing her home. In that time “social births” were important because woman would have not one, but several children in her life time. Managing a newborn with a house full of kids was hard work (and still is). Midwives delivered babies and were a central part of the birthing experience. Their craft and wisdom were handed down from Midwife to Midwife. Apprentices were chosen by the Midwives to carry-on their traditions and knowledge.

The issue became pain managment . Ether was one of the first medications used for labor in the 1920′s. The new OB/GYN became the expert and Midwives were slowly pushed to the side. Yet in the new medical quest for allievating labor pains, pregnancy, labor and birth became a medical process. At the same time, the connection between mind and body had not been pursued or even thought of. Thousands of women were sent to their deaths in the infamous “Witch hunts” when it was believed then – mysterious intuition, or the ability to have a sixth sense was eveil. Even the hypnotists of that time in the mid to late 1900′s were considered mystical and magical. Birth and labor pains were were physical experiences and delt with in that manner. The mind was not part of the body.

As new medical technology advanced, so did science and research in the connection between mind and body. When Candice Pert wrote her famous book “Molecules of Emotion” published in 1997 ( only 70 years later from the first medication used in labor) it opened a new way of looking at the human body, the workings of the mind, and its relationship to , illness, pain, and mindset.

Since that book (and others) a flood of new science and research on the body/mind connection has developed over the recent years in such a way that it’s now used with patients with chronic pain and illness. Physicians and nurses are learning hypnosis, meditation, Yoga, Reiki, healing energies,and the importance of positive thinking in managing stress and physiological or psychological pain. Today, as I write this in 2009, positive thinking, and how you think, thoughts are energy, the Law of Attraction, and so on, are common subjects and terms accepted in our culture. And it works.

This is the missing element for women who are pregnant and anticipating the birth of their baby. Because of all the proven research on the physiological benefits of relaxation on the body and mind, a woman’s mindset for labor is the key to eliminating fear about the process, enhancing her innate skills and individual talent for birthing, and em brasses her innate desires and confidence to birth her way.

Along with the advances of medical technology in the birthing arena, a side effect is increasing daily: Fear of the birthing process and a woman’s doubt in her ability to birth.

Both of which can be adressed through – mindset.

Lesly Federici RN, BA, LCCE, FACCE, ACH

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